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- 😵 Google sued for $2,565,635,200,000,003,000,000,000,000,000,000
😵 Google sued for $2,565,635,200,000,003,000,000,000,000,000,000
PLUS: JPMorgan wants its money back from ATM glitch; Washington Post doesn’t back Kamala, loses 8% of subscribers.
Jacob Goldschein & Steven Van
October 30, 2024 • Estimated Reading Time: 9 minutes
Today’s market performance 🏆️
S&P 500: -0.33% 📉
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Dow 30: -0.22% 📉
Russell 2000: 0.17% 📉
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TOP STORY
😵 Google sued for $2.5 decillion
📸 Android Police
Wait, how much money? Google just made history, and definitely not for something you’d expect.
Earlier this week, we learned that Google has racked up an astronomical $2.5 decillion worth of fines in Russia.
To put that into perspective, a trillion has 12 zeros (1,000,000,000,000), while a decillion has 33 zeros (1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000).
If a trillion dollars were a single grain of sand, a decillion dollars could fill every ocean on Earth.
That’s how massive the difference is.
📈 Alphabet ($GOOG) stock is up 26.31% this year.
📸 Jakub Porzycki / NurPhoto via Getty Images
WTF could Google have done (lol)? It all started in 2020 when Google began incurring daily penalties of 100,000 rubles (about $1,000), which doubled weekly.
Why the penalties? Because they blocked the YouTube channels of pro-government Russian media outlets Tsargrad and RIA FAN.
Why did they block them? The channels apparently violated YouTube’s community guidelines, which typically cover content policies regarding misinformation, hate speech, or harmful content.
Valid.
Look, I’m all for getting paid, but given that Google brought in just over $307 billion in 2023, I don’t think this will happen, guys.
💬 17 Russian TV channels have filed claims against Google, including Channel One and Zvezda.
FINANCE
🏧 JPMorgan wants its money back from ATM glitch
📸 Getty Images
Hide your cash; JPMorgan is coming!
Earlier this week, JPMorgan began suing customers in three federal courts who exploited an ATM glitch, which allowed them to withdraw thousands of dollars for free.
Shit, be right back. I’m kidding, I’m kidding, I swear, JP.
But for real, that’s a crazy mess-up.
💬 The cases are in Miami, Texas, and California, involving customers who JPMorgan says owe between $80,000 and $290,000.
📸 Getty Images
How’d it happen? Basically, a technical issue in some of JPMorgan’s ATMs let people take out cash from checks before they cleared, meaning people could withdraw money from bad checks before the bank caught on.
But it wasn’t every ATM, so how’d people find out so quickly? TikTok, duh.
A few people discovered this "infinite money glitch" and shared videos on TikTok of themselves making big withdrawals after depositing the bad checks.
💬 Paper checks led to $26.6 billion in losses worldwide last year.
The videos went viral, leading people to begin showing up at JPMorgan ATMs, hoping to strike gold, without considering that maybe the largest bank in the U.S. would want its money back.
I guess it wasn’t made clear enough to some folks that fraud is, in fact, very illegal.
💬 “A Houston case involves a man who owes JPMorgan $290,939.47 after an unidentified accomplice deposited a counterfeit $335,000 check at an ATM.”
WORD OF THE DAY
What’s the term used to describe money a company spends on big, long-term assets, such as equipment or buildings? |
POLITICS
😆 Washington Post doesn’t back Kamala, loses 8% of subscribers
📸 New York Post / Getty Images
Damn, do we really have to bring politics into everything?
The Washington Post made headlines earlier this week when it decided not to endorse a presidential candidate.
This decision led to over 200,000 digital subscription cancellations and several columnists' resignations.
💬 200,000 cancellations represent about 8% of the Post’s 2.5 million subscribers.
📸 AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais
Oops, lol. But wait, when we say "they," let’s be more specific.
We really mean Jeff Bezos.
Yes, in case you didn’t know, the billionaire founder of Amazon bought The Washington Post in 2013 and decided not to endorse a candidate.
Why did he decide not to? Bezos said he wanted to avoid any "perception of bias" and uphold The Washington Post’s independence, which is odd considering the paper has only endorsed Democratic candidates over the past decade.
This is the first time The Washington Post has skipped endorsing a U.S. presidential candidate since Jeff Bezos took over.
Oh, shit! I hope it was worth it, Jeff. Aren’t you worried about all the money you’ll lose?
Regardless, it seems there is still no way to make politics uncontroversial.
📈 Amazon ($AMZN) is up 28.55% this year.
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